Thailand Trip with Faye

Faye and I just came back from vacation in Thailand on Monday.  Our trip was from the 9th-14th.  While we certainly enjoyed some aspects of the trip there was an undue amount of drama and conflict that I do not wish to rehash in full detail.  

We did a lot of shopping and spent time enjoying nature.  Our hotel for the majority of the trip, The Old Phuket, is located in Karon Beach.  This was much different from the last two times I stayed in Patong. It was much more relaxed and quiet compared to Patong and there was a slightly higher level of luxury at this hotel. 

The hotel was nice but they gave us the wrong room for the first night and this caused some stress for both of us.  I was pretty pissed and I only slept 3 hours.  Faye slept more than I but neither of us got much sleep the first night.  We ended up changing rooms early the first morning after a terrible night of sleep and being awakened by loud neighbors.  

The second night we both slept better.  

We did a lot of shopping at Junceylon, Central Phuket, tailors, and street vendors.  I bought a tailored suit, two pairs of leather shoes, a reversable belt, a tank top, a pair of flip flops, running shorts, a watch, tiger balm, and even splurged on duty free at the airport. 

Faye bought a lot of bikinis and various soaps and scrubs. 

I smoked a lot of weed.  This upset Faye because she thought I was acting differently toward her.  She has never seen me high.  She has no idea how much more chill I am when I am high.  I tried to explain that getting stoned was helping me to stay calm in stressful situations but she did not understand.  This became a major point of conflict throughout our trip and it came up repeatedly during our arguments. 

We went to Karon Beach for some swimming and sun bathing.  We did not swim much because there was an oil spill.  The origin of the spill is unknown but it is suspected that a vessel spilled it offshore.  The vessel responsible has not been identified and the Thailand government is bungling the cleanup operation. 

We took a tour to Phang Nga Bay and visited many islands.  We stopped at Ko Pa Nak where we went inside a cave that led to a cove with mudskippers and mangroves, Ko Hong where we took a ride on a Kayak, Ko Tapu (James Bond Island), then we had lunch at Panyee Island (Muslim Island). We finished at Ko Naka before returning to Phuket and riding back to our hotel.  The oil spill had fortunately not impacted this part of our trip.

We got two massages.  Our first massage on the 10th was at Pearl Spa.  We got a full body massage there.  For our second massage we went to Anda Spa and got a full body scrub and massage on the 13th. 

On our last day in Karon Beah we went to swim with Elephants but Faye was too frightened to get near them.

Our last night in Thailand was spent at the Dewa Phuket.  This five star hotel is closer to the airport.  We did not do much there but sleep. The next morning we got breakfast and chased a bird around the beach trying, unsuccessfully, to get a clear photo or video.

We had quite a lot of conflicts and arguments.  We argued pretty much every night but fortunately not on the last one.  Our first argument was about me getting weed and interrupting Faye's sleep schedule since we arrived somewhat late.  Each subsequent argument came down to excessive criticism, ineffective communication around our expectations and boundaries, and a lack of affection and warmth.  I had expected a romantic vacation with my girlfriend.  I paid for just about everything except the items she bought and felt she was being unappreciative and cold.  She was just exhausted but there was also an element of frustration with me that I was high.  She would later say that I was acting differently and less warmly toward her because I was high.  I would counter that I was attempting to be warm and cuddly but she was withholding affection and giving me the cold shoulder. We would go back and forth about this for a while.  We were both pretty tired.  I had a bout of diarrhea before the trip and took medicine that had me backed up for days.  Neither of us had slept much and we were both pretty bitchy toward each other.  

She stayed over the night of the 14th and last night.  We talked about things last night.  We came to a better understanding and cried together a bit.  She took responsibility for her cold shoulder and apologized.  I apologized (again) for being overly critical.  Going forward we both need to work harder to accommodate each other.  Our communication needs to improve.  So far we have had three trips together.  Two of those trips have been rife with poor communication and conflict.  Yet our day-to-day lives are not burdened with this issue and we usually have a harmonious relationship.  Going on vacation seems to stress us both out more than necessary. My hope is that this will improve with time, communication, and better planning.  We both have an extended break in early October for Golden Week.  With some shared time off maybe we will be able to enjoy ourselves with less pressure.  A big factor in her exhaustion this time was how hard she worked before our trip just to justify taking the time off.  With a national holiday there will be no need for her to put herself through that.  I hope this yields a more harmonious experience for both of us. Additionally, I have asked her to pay for her own flights and half the hotel room going forward.  She agreed this was reasonable and fair. 

Work starts for me on Sunday August 20th.  It was originally supposed to start this week on the 17th but there were some delays with the new building needing to be connected to power and the AC turned on.  I am looking forward to getting back.  I am concerned however that my birthday weekend will be busy with work.  The first day of school is August 28th, which is my birthday, so yay. The weekend prior is filled with work related stuff. 

Below are some photos and videos from our trip together.  They are not in any particular order.